The days, weeks and even months after giving birth are some of the most insecure days for new-moms, especially when it’s your first child. The confidence and assurance you experienced during pregnancy just evaporates and then you suddenly find yourself questioning everything, including the competency of your mothering. But there are some simple tips to help build your confidence as a new mom.
Don’t compare yourself to others
Without realising it, you’ll find that you’re comparing yourself to every other mother you come into contact with or walk past in the street. And this in itself can have a big knock on your confidence. But every baby is different, just as every parenting style is different so don’t go comparing yourself to others – at least not critically. Be assured that what you’re doing for your child is right, and if you’re not sure, speak to a paediatrician.
Ignore bad advice
Having a baby somehow warrants you to be open to a lot of unasked for advice. Close friends and family as well as other parents and acquaintances will shower you with tips and advice that you won’t have even asked for and this can really muddy the waters sometimes. Especially if you have contradictory advice. The best approach to build your confidence as a new mom is to simply tune it all out and stick to your guns. Don’t be fooled, some of the advice you receive is going to be really helpful but be very selective of what you take on board and what you disregard.
Don’t get crushed by guilt
Guilt is something that every mother is going to have to deal with. Unfortunately, you’re likely to be feeling guilty no matter what you do and sometimes it’s your gut instinct telling you that something isn’t right, but the majority of the time, it’s nothing to worry about. And this can have a negative effective on your confidence. The best way to combat this is to simply acknowledge the guilt and then move on, put it to the back of your mind and teach yourself how to cope with it.
Nobody is perfect
It’s true. Nobody is perfect. You’re not going to be the perfect mother, nor are you going to be able to do everything. If you want to build your confidence as a new mom then you need to accept this and simply take it in your stride. Lowering your standards will help you to feel less stressed out when you realise that you can’t remember the last time you cleaned the bathroom, or that you haven’t been able to spend as much time with your partner as you like, or that you promised yourself you’d teach your baby sign language but still haven’t gotten round to it.
Write it down
When under pressure, it’s much harder to remember the important stuff. So although you may know all the answer’s before you enter the paediatrician’s office, when you actually get in there, you can barely remember your own name, let alone your baby’s. Writing things down in a small notebook that’s kept somewhere handy means that you will always have that important information to hand when you need it.
Take time out for yourself
It’s important that you recognise when you’re getting stressed out as that’s when you’re likely to make a mistake. If you’ve been feeling particularly under pressure, then take some time out for yourself. Ask your partner to take over for a little while and run yourself a relaxing bath. Building your confidence a new mom is important to helping you feel like you’re in control and doing the best for you child.